How Unforgiveness Blocks the Flow of God's Grace

How seriously does God take unforgiveness?

Seriously enough He said if you don’t forgive others, He won’t forgive you.

This is made abundantly clear in Matthew 6:14-15: "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

Unforgiveness is not just a relational issue; it is a spiritual one that directly impacts our relationship with God. When we hold onto bitterness and refuse to extend grace to others, we place a barrier between ourselves and the forgiveness that God so freely offers.

In Matthew 5:21-24 Jesus teaches that harboring anger or hatred toward a brother or sister puts us in danger of judgment, just as if we had committed a serious sin like murder.

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Unforgiveness hinders our spiritual health and blocks the blessings God desires to pour into our lives. The bitterness and resentment that comes with unforgiveness cloud our spiritual vision, making it difficult to discern His guidance or experience the fullness of His presence.

I am convinced that, aside from sin itself, unforgiveness is one of the greatest barriers to receiving anything from the Lord.

An example of the consequences of unforgiveness is found in Matthew 18:21-35, where Jesus responds to Peter's question about how many times he should forgive someone who sins against him. Peter suggests up to seven times, but Jesus replies, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times" (or "seventy times seven" in some translations), signifying that our forgiveness should be limitless.

To further drive home the point, Jesus tells the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant.

In this parable, a king decides to settle accounts with his servants. One servant owes the king ten thousand bags of gold - an impossible debt to repay. Out of compassion, the king forgives the entire debt, setting the servant free. However, that same servant finds a fellow servant who owes him just a hundred silver coins- a small, repayable amount. Instead of showing mercy, he demands repayment and has his fellow servant thrown into prison. When the king hears of this, he is furious and hands the unforgiving servant over to the jailers to be tortured until he can repay his debt. Jesus concludes the parable with a sobering warning: "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart" (Matthew 18:35).

This parable vividly illustrates how seriously God takes unforgiveness.

When we refuse to extend mercy to others, we demonstrate that we have not truly grasped the depth of God’s forgiveness toward us. Unforgiveness, then, becomes not just a matter of personal offense but a rejection of the very grace we have received.

 

Forgiveness is difficult... it often feels like surrendering a right to justice or recompense, especially when we have been deeply wounded.

But the truth is, forgiveness frees us as much as it frees others. It releases us from the chains of bitterness and restores our connection with God.

Just as Christ forgave us while we were still sinners, we are called to forgive those who have wronged us. Refusing to forgive not only keeps us in bondage but also closes the door to the forgiveness and blessings God desires to pour into our lives.

God desires us to live in freedom, and forgiveness is a key to that freedom.

When we forgive, we reflect the heart of our heavenly Father, who forgave us first.

Forgiveness opens the door to healing, reconciliation, and, most importantly, a deeper relationship with God. As we extend grace to others, we not only live out the gospel but also open ourselves to the fullness of God's love and grace in our lives.

 

What forgiveness is NOT:

• Forgiveness is not a feeling, it’s a choice!

              It’s not only a choice, it’s a command. (as we see in Matthew)

               Jesus paid for ALL sin on the cross. We can’t decide who can be                                      forgiven and who can’t.

• Saying what the person did was ok. It was not okay for that person to hurt you.
• Pretending it didn’t happen.
• Trying to just forget about it.
• Thinking, “Oh, it wasn’t intentional.” Whether intentional or not, if you were hurt, forgiveness is necessary.
• Putting yourself back into the same situation, or trusting that person again.
• Forgiveness is not always easy, and it doesn’t often happen instantly (although it can through healing prayer ministry).

 

What forgiveness IS:

• Setting yourself free while cutting loose the person who hurt you. Often, people have no idea that you are holding unforgiveness toward them. Or maybe they don’t care. They are enjoying their lives while you are in a self-imposed prison of unforgiveness.
• Letting go of the need to seek revenge from the person who hurt you.
• Making a choice to leave the past behind by not allowing it to control your emotions and actions.
• Allowing God’s healing to begin as bitterness and hatred lose their place in your heart.

I have discovered over the years of healing prayer ministry, that a sure indication that someone has been healed of the pain of their past is that forgiveness is the end result.

I have also discovered that unforgiveness is often a barrier to inner healing and sometimes physical healing as well.